I overheard someone talking about their Thanksgiving plans. She was asked if all those people stayed at her house, her reply was “We make it work!”

Contrast to my past year where I was told “We don’t have room” on four different occasions. By family.

There is no worse feeling of being left out than when that occurs with family members.

As an adoptee, there are primal feelings of not belonging that take a lot of work to get beyond – and then to be told there is No Room is a massive set-back.

When my mother was alive, there was always room. If the table was full, there was always a step stool that could get squeezed in. A card table that could get set-up. More food could be added to make it work. I’m trying to model this to my children, but how do I explain when they ask why we can’t be with family this Thanksgiving or Christmas… I can’t break their giant hearts, though it gets harder to hide it as they get older.

This is my prayer for all of you this Holiday season, May the We Make it Work people be greater in your life than the No Room people.

This was one of my mother’s favorites (and her notes for me so I wouldn’t mess it up!)

Garlic Soup – Adapted from James Beard’s Beard on Food

Melt 3T. of butter on very low heat

Add 30 cloves of garlic, peeled and simmer for an hour. If it burns or browns throw it out and start over.

Add 6-8 cups of vegetable broth or chicken broth and simmer for 20 minutes.

Using a slotted spoon removed the garlic cloves and puree them in a food mill or ricer and add the puree back to the pot. Add a tiny bit of salt, a few generous grids of the pepper mill and a small bit of nutmeg. Reheat but DO NOT BOIL! Do not let this soup ever boil.

In a small bowl stir 3T. of olive oil together with  beaten 4 egg yolks Add a small amount of soup slowly to the egg yolk to temper them. When the egg yolks are warm, slowly stir them into the soup (slower! or the eggs will curdle!). Serve with Toast Points.

Mommy, why are you crying?

What I say: Mommy is just feeling a little sad right now…

A few of the ten thousand reasons I am crying:

• I just realized I have to plan the first family Easter since my mother died. She loved Easter.

• I bought Cherry Twizzlers instead of Strawberry and while they were the perfect amount of stale the wrong flavor is putting a damper on my binge

• I need to clean the litter box and I don’t want to

• I am overwhelmed at work

• My hormones are playing hockey with my emotions today

• The twins have twisted the swings together on the playset and now I have to go out there and fix it

• I am underwhelmed with my fitness and weight loss progress

• It snowed today in April and I am sad, sad, sad for my baby flowers.

• I went to the wrong grocery store

• My son chose the muddiest boots to wear to the babysitters today

• I ran the washing machine without the clothes

• It is still 3 hours before bedtime

• I’m tired

• One twin got a special recognition at school (happy tears!) the other is in the same class and did not ( sad for my other twin tears)

• I’m terrified of some of the messy truths that I’ve put out on this blog this week

• I plugged in my Kitchen-Aid and it was on so it whacked me in the boob

• It is Tax Day

• I’m not drinking right now, so I have to DEAL WITH MY FEELINGS

• I volunteered, again